


If I Fell

by mvernet



Series: The Blond Beatle Affair [2]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s01e03 The Quadripartite Affair, Fear gas, M/M, Mention of Abusive Past, Songfic, lovelovelove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 08:57:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6045616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mvernet/pseuds/mvernet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Illya has fallen victim to fear gas during The Quadripartite Affair. Napoleon does his best take care of his vulnerable partner.</p><p>A songfic inspired by<i> If I Fell,</i> by The Beatles<br/>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcDISOpKZbk<br/>(I LoVe how John sings this to Ringo. Adorabeatleble. How very slashy of him, thanks, John, for helping me out.)  </p><p>Gender pronouns were changed but not harmed in the making of this songfic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Fell

If I fell in love with you  
Would you promise to be true  
And help me understand  
~The Beatles~ If I Fell~ 

“Nyet, nyet. Pazhaluysta. Napasha they are coming! They will get in! Soldiers. Soldiers. Szhigat. Murder us. Nyet! Nyet!.”

Napoleon closed his communicator and turned to his partner who was huddled in a corner of Marion Raven’s stylish apartment, frightened almost out of his mind. The Quadripartite Affair, as Waverly dubbed it, had taken an odd turn. Illya had been gassed while examining a box of chocolates delivered to Miss Raven. The gas caused the victim to become frightened out of his wits, if he had any. And Illya was quite brilliant, making him doubly susceptible to its effects.

Napoleon had purposefully made light of Illya’s condition, knowing that if he were the one under the influence of this fear gas, he would not like an audience. Napoleon made an instantaneous decision for both of them to just wait it out. He made his way slowly to his partner’s side.

“Illya. Illya. It’s alright. I’m here. Nothing is going to harm you.” Napoleon’s voice sing-songed calmly.

“Napasha! The soldiers come. They always come.” Illya tried to hide his head in his hands as he rocked in the corner by the fully-equipped bar.

“Illya. Illya. There are no soldiers. Only me. Only… Napasha.” Napoleon cautiously knelt next to the shaken Russian. He noticed the tears falling from Illya’s sky blue eyes, his blown pupils. He was moved by Illya using the diminutive of Napoleon. Such an endearment at a time like this meant more to him than he could say.

“Nyet. Szhigat. Szhigat!”

Napoleon thought for a moment. “Burn? Illya, nothing is burning…”

Napoleon looked again into Illya’s fear-filled eyes. He saw the little blond boy, hiding. While the sounds and smells of soldiers burning his home, murdering his family, filled his senses. 

“Did Illya see? Did Illya see the burning?” he spoke quietly to his trembling friend.

“Da. Napasha. Da.” Illya grabbed hold of Napoleon and crawled into his arms. He buried his head in Napoleon’s chest and sobbed.

Napoleon held him close and rocked him. Waves of fierce possessiveness overwhelmed him. He wanted to protect this crazy Russian spy. Take his pain away. Love him. He crooned to him until the sobbing stopped and the trembling eased.

“There, there. partner mine. I have you. No one can hurt you. Safe with me. Safe with me.” Napoleon ran his fingers through Illya’s hair. The soft golden strands made his fingers tingle. He inhaled Illya’s scent wanting to memorize it. Fresh. Clean. Like sunshine in his arms. Napoleon smiled and searched his limited Russian vocabulary for the word. Solnishko. Little sun.

“Solnishko, safe in my arms.” Napoleon rested his head on Illya’s and pulled him closer. He noticed his partner was now breathing evenly and calmly. A muffled, “Napoleon?” reached his ear.

“Shhhh. Solnishko. Have no fear. Your Napasha is here,” he sang.

Illya lifted his head. “Napoleon? What the hell, happened?”

Napoleon stiffened and coughed. He let go of Illya who pushed him away, sat back and looked around, still a bit dazed.

“Ahhh, fear gas, partner. In the chocolates. You should always check the bottom layer, you know.”

“In Russia you would not find _two_ layers of chocolates in a box.”

Napoleon laughed and started to rise, reaching for Illya to help him stand. Illya took his hand and stumbled to his feet. They stood a moment face to face. Napoleon holding Illya’s arms to steady him.

“Are you alright, partner?”

“Da. I...I remember what you did… what you said… I am grateful for your help… and discretion.”

“What are partners for?” Napoleon held back the urge to call him Solnishko one last time and take him in his arms and…

Illya broke away. There was nothing left to say. They had a mission to complete.

~~~O~~~

The mission was over. Illya stretched out on his own couch with his own bottle of Stoli in his own apartment. The mission was over and it had been a success. He chuckled.

_And for once the pretty girl was smitten with me. Marion is sweet and funny and kooky. She has an artistic soul. I will date her. We will have good sex, like Napoleon does with his ladies. We will not fall in love. I will not hurt her for the world. It will be ...adequate._

Illya took a long drink from his chipped glass. He turned the glass slightly so he would not cut his lip.

_Still useful, even with a chip. Like me._

Illya had not told Marion. He had not told Napoleon. And neither torture nor truth serum could force him to tell Mr. Waverly. But on and off through the day, fear would grip his very soul. He knew it was the fear gas working its way out of his system. But he was still afraid.

_I’m fine. But I think Napasha noticed. He would notice. He is such an exemplary partner. Strong, loyal, devoted even. Never before has anyone put my needs before their own. He is… Napasha is… my best friend. I love him._

“Ohhhh! Ya lyublyu yego! I love him! Oh, nyet, nyet.”

A knock at the door made him jump to his feet and reach for his gun. It was resting on a stack of unread scientific journals on his coffee table. It was Napoleon’s coded knock. Knock-tap-wait-tap-tap-tap. N.S. 

“Just a moment, Napoleon.”

Illya went to the door to disarm the security system. His gun still in his hand. He opened the door and stood back.

Napoleon had a large pizza in one hand, a wicker wrapped bottle of Chianti in the other. The smile on his face could light up Manhattan during a blackout.

“Is that a gun in your hand or are you just happy to see me?”

Illya frowned trying to figure out what that meant. He gave up.

“What?”

Napoleon chuckled.

“Nothing. Let’s eat, I’m starving.” He dropped the pizza on the stacks of books that served as an end table next to Illya’s one comfy reading chair, then headed for the small kitchen. Illya heard him humming and rummaging in his cabinets.

Illya slowly closed the door and reset the alarms. Another jolt of fear rocked him.

If I fell in love with you  
Would you promise to be true  
And help me understand  
Cos I've been in love before  
And I found that love was more  
Than just holding hands

Fear. Fear and old memories took hold of him. Memories of his first and last love. He had been devastated. He swore never again. Never again to trust, to love. What on earth was he thinking. Fall in love with Napoleon Solo? The ladies man? The man’s man?

If I give my heart to you  
I must be sure  
From the very start  
That you would love me more than him

_Him. Artur Sergeyevich Marinesko. My Captain. My beautiful Captain. The man who saved me. Protected me. Took my heart and sold it to save himself. I was so young, sixteen when I met him. How could he take one so young? I hate him. I love him, still._

If I trust in you oh please  
Don't run and hide  
If I love you too oh please  
Don't hurt my pride like him  
Cos I couldn't stand the pain  
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

“Illya? What’s wrong?”

Napoleon touched Illya’s arm and woke him from his reverie. He looked at Napoleon as if he had just appeared before him. He stared at him. 

_Can Napasha read my mind?_

“It’s the fear gas, isn’t it? You’re still feeling it aren’t you?”

Illya nodded. Relief spread through his body.

_Napasha will make it better._

Illya felt the gun he had forgotten about taken from his hand. He was led to the couch and gently commanded.

“Sit, Solnishko. Drink the wine.”

Illya complied. He felt Napoleon take the glass from his shaking hands. He wondered if this glass was chipped too.

“Eat.”

Illya opened his mouth and bit down on the slice of pizza Napoleon held for him. It was delicious and real. Full of flavor, spices and sustenance. When he finished it, Napoleon gently wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. Napoleon briefly stroked his cheek. Maybe Napoleon would understand.

So I hope you see that I  
Would love to love you  
And that he will cry  
When he learns we are two  
Cos I couldn't stand the pain  
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

“Napasha?”

“Yes, Solnishko?”

“There was someone who hurt my heart perhaps beyond repair. My heart is chipped, like my glass. It could cut you, Napasha, if you hold it the wrong way. A chipped glass is easily shattered. A glass shard embedded in your heart can cause you to bleed to death.”

So I hope you see that I  
Would love to love you  
And that he will cry  
When he learns we are two  
If I fell in love with you

“Are you afraid to love again, Solnishko?”

“Very afraid, Napasha.”

“Are you tired, Solnishko?”

“Very tired, Napasha.”

“Close your eyes for a moment, while I clean up.”

Illya leaned back, closed his eyes and listened again to the sounds of Napoleon puttering in his apartment. He felt a blanket placed across his lap. He smiled. The fear was ebbing. Replaced with warm comfort.

“Come.”

Illya opened his eyes and took Napoleon’s hand.

Napoleon lead him to the bedroom, undressed him and helped him into bed.

“Shall I sleep with you tonight, Solnishko? Just to keep the fear away?”

“Yes, Napasha.” Illya closed his eyes. In a few minutes he was enveloped in a cloud of love unlike anything he had ever experienced before in his life. He tried to speak.

“Shhh, Solnishko. Tonight there is no past, no future, nothing to fear. Sleep. I’ll guard your precious heart.”

_If I fell in love with you_

~~~O~~~

TBC  
Stay tuned for more exciting Beatles songfics starring Illya and Napoleon.


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